Sometimes I feel like I am rushing to the future. I don’t want to sit and wait for someone to call me, so I call them. I don’t wait for the suspense to build, so I just dive right in. maybe its after years of being told you have to go after what you want. we have all grown up in an environment that has pushed us to be leaders and to hedge our way to the front, but maybe that isn’t the mentality that we need at this time. Maybe it is better to be in the waiting line.
Like lets say you are at a restaurant and there is a huge line and you are hungry and you think you are more hungry than everyone else in line, so you shove your ass right to the front of the line. and ya, you place your order and will eat 30 minutes before everyone, but you just pissed off a room of people and probably have some pubes in your sandwich.
Sometimes what we want is just not ready to happen. The restaurant is crowded for a reason. All the people in front of you are all meant to be there. even your aching belly, it is all apart of the picture.
All your unmet desires are playing out in some perfect way.
“have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in foreign language. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day”.
I love the line YOU NEED TO LIVE THE QUESTION.
What we have to do is be happy with our questions - enjoy waiting.
Someday I will have the answer and the closure and all these missing elements will be woven into my life… but today isn’t that day and I have to be content with that.
And lets just say in the example before, you are waiting in line at that restaurant and instead of being a jerk you decide to talk to the stranger in line, or you pick up the newspaper, or you choose to live the moment, maybe that decision will take you through to a new place.
You are everywhere you are supposed to be. You are reading this because your day has taken you here. you called or didn’t call someone because of any number of reasons, all you can do is follow bliss in THIS second and not live for any future contentment. The contentment you need can be felt now.
“we go blind when we need to see, and this leans on me like a rootless tree.”
–Damien Rice
For so long I have loved that quote and never really understood it.
But now I think it fits with this post.
what I think it is trying to say is….
not everything in your life needs to be all figured out. And if we search for a way to make everything black or white, we go blind. Our life is really just shades of gray (sorry for the cliché… and for rhyming).
Those areas of gray ARE our lives. All the drama, the hours of contemplation and the tears, are what fill our day. This is life. It is a heavy burden to try to go around closing up all the loose ends. I say just let it all hang out. Take all the perceived imperfections of your job, your relationships, your body, your life, and just let them be.
Because you don’t need to see everything.
you can’t experience everything.
“Perfection is a question. a question for someone else. Not for me.”
So now go enjoy all the grayness of your life.
Namaste.
you are my idol
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